iHave Complicated Feelings
by Miss Kristen Nicole
Summary: Carly and Freddie have finally come around; they both want more than friendship. Is it finally time for a happy ending? Likely not, because now Sam's having feelings for that same chizz-faced boy, so she probably won't help them out. Multi-chapter fic!
1. iWish You Felt the Same

**iHave Conflicted Feelings**

**Author's Note:** Even though I'm 19, I adore iCarly! I'm going to try this story and see where it goes. Definitely a Creddie fan, but this story is going to have a little bit of Seddie, too. First shot at anything involving iCarly. In fact, I dropped my other two stories (so ignore those)...it's the first time I've written in over a year, so be nice! However, thoughtful criticism is greatly appreciated. P.S. I take pride in my grammar knowledge, so if you see any errors or typos, please let me know so that they can be fixed immediately! Thank you! Hope you enjoy the story :)

» Kristen Nicole

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own or pretend to own iCarly, or any of Dan Schneider's characters. I just love writing about them!_

_

* * *

_Carly Shay walked through the front door and ran straight to her bedroom.

It had been another one of those days. Those endless, merciless days, where all she could do was silently steal glimpses of Freddie Benson, and hope that one day he would reapproach her with his desire to be in a relationship. Unfortunately, it had been a year since the taco truck accident, and he had shown no signs of wanting to resume being together. Hadn't he assured her that the moment the "hero" title had worn off, that they would try again? Well, it had been a total lie. Her hero had lied to her, and never returned.

Now Carly was all whipped up, and didn't know how to let out her anger. Frustrated and confused, she grabbed her Pear Phone and texted Samantha Puckett, hoping that seeing her delinquent best friend would cheer her up; she certainly needed it. She was not, however, going to mention Freddie; she was feeling down enough without Sam's hurtful banter.

* * *

Freddie sighed heavily as he tossed his knapsack aside and yanked his Pear Book into his lap.

Something had to change. He was so sick of watching Carly with her head in the clouds during class. Everytime he turned to look at her beautiful face, she was spaced out in her own little world, no doubt thinking about her and Sam's flavor of the week boy.

The last moment he had felt truly alone with Carly was in those horrid woods when they had gone searching for Bigfoot. Those "wrestling" squirrels had ruined an important moment for Freddie. With Sam sound asleep and Spencer out of sight, it had been the perfect opportunity to remind Carly that he still wanted to be with her. The hero phase had been over for some time, and he felt like he was finally ready. He was up to facing possible rejection, because he had to try, right? Except, he didn't. Those stupid squirrels sucked the romance out of their isolation, and just when the disgusted hype was finally settling away, Spencer obnoxiously tumbled into the RV, effectively blocking any other chances.

Once his computer had started up, Freddie logged on to SplashFace, updating his status to "Freddie Benson doesn't know what to do next," and his mood to "Confused," then resumed his ponderings.

Now, almost a year later, he still couldn't bring himself to do it. He missed Carly dearly, but didn't have it in him to tell her that. He had waited far too long; all of his confidence had crumbled. It really didn't help that Sam was always making him sound or look so stupid and undesirable.

Sam. That girl was a school-yard bully in high school form. The only emotions of which she was capable were mean, meaner, and meanest. It was too bad, Freddie mused, that she took to being such a tomboy. He remembered that day at the Groovy Smoothie when Sam had tried to become more "girly" simply to win the affections of a boy...though he preferred her luxurious blonde curls to her stick-straight locks, there was no denying that Sam had looked _hot_. Hot like her possibly fictitious twin sister, Melanie. He still didn't believe that Sam had had a twin, though. Which meant that Sam really had kissed him, again.

Sam had kissed him again!

What was up with that girl? She couldn't make up her mind. She had kissed him twice now, and spent the rest of her time absolutely hating him. Was it some sort of crazy denial? Or, maybe she was just trying to protect Carly's feelings. If that was the case, she was way off. Carly didn't feel anything romantic for him. Sam, on the other hand, was a definite possibility. But, the question was, how did Freddie feel about Sam? Whatever it was, he was pretty sure that it wasn't positive. That was enough to keep him from going down that road...for now.

* * *

Sam was already in the lobby ignoring Lewbert's wails of insanity about God knows what as she received Carly's text message. It was clearly meant to sound happy, but Sam knew her best friend well enough to be able to tell the difference.

Though it usually wasn't too difficult for Sam to cheer up Carly, she wasn't exactly feeling up to the task today. All throughout Miss Briggs' class, she'd suddenly caught herself daydreaming about someone who she never would have expected: Freddie. She couldn't help it. Somehow, watching him move around props and go about his geeky technological chizz during the show had become a favorite pastime of hers. What was up with her? She had to shake this disgusting new line of thought before it turned into something bigger, like a disgusting crush. Besides, Freddie was Carly's boy. He was hopelessly devoted to the girl. Could she blame him, though? Carly definitely knew how to embrace her inner daffodility, and she certainly had her beat in the prettiness department. And, Sam wasn't entirely sure, but she thought that there had been a few moments when she'd caught Carly staring longingly at Freddie during class.

No, Freddie most definitely was not her boy; he was Carly's.

* * *

Carly had nearly dozed off when she heard Sam bust into the studio.

"Rise and shine, Miss Shay. We have rehearsal tonight, and if I don't get to miss it, neither do you!" she said as she bounced onto the edge of Carly's bed.

"No practice tonight. Cancel it. Need sleep." Carly rolled so that her body was turned away from the obnoxious blonde ball of energy.

"Tough chizz, Carls. I'm gonna go get your boyfriend, so you'd better be awake and sparkling when we get back!" Carly had been far too groggy to take note of the resent in Sam's voice, which was probably for the best.

"My boyfriend? Who?" Clearly still half asleep, she was unable to form complete sentences.

"Fredopher, Carls. Fredopher. Be back in a sec," she rolled her eyes as Carly mumbled "Is not, Sam," and ran in the direction of Freddie's apartment.

* * *

Freddie was quite lost in thought as he gazed at Carly's profile picture. His reverie was interrupted, though, when Sam started beating on his door.

"Come on, Fredward, get your tech-dork self out here and do some rehearsing with us," she called.

"I'm not in the mood," he responded, emotionlessly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm ticked, Carly's depressed, and you're a loser who would rather spend all day staring at Carly's SplashFace page than have a show meeting. You gotta get over yourself, though, and do this."

Freddie glared at the closed door. "You can't prove anything!"

He was met with silence, though.

"Wait, Sam...what do you mean, Carly's depressed?"

Sam didn't want to lie to him, but she didn't know if she wanted to see the two of them back together. "I think she's having...boy problems. Yeah, she likes some boy, and she doesn't think that he feels the same way. Stuff you don't wanna hear about. So come on, let's hit it."

Freddie opened the door and slammed it behind himself. "Fine," he grumbled.

Sam was very aware of their proximity, and was unable to keep herself from looking up at him. That's right...he was taller now. For a brief moment, the two of them made eye contact. Freddie thought for a fleeting instant that he had seen the hostility leave her eyes, replaced by a lonely vulnerability. She looked sad, and sort of beautiful. He ignored those thoughts, though. Sam may have been attractive, and there might have been a sweet little girl buried somewhere beneath all of her meanness, but Freddie had his priorities. Right now, for instance, rather than take some misguided chance with Samantha Puckett, he was going to see his dream girl from across the hall.


	2. iWant Both

**iHave Conflicted Feelings**

**Author's Note:** So, it's only been a couple of hours, and already I've received two reviews...you guys are the best! I'm going to try really hard to keep writing. I _am_ in summer school, but that only takes up about 3 hours each morning, so I should have plenty of time to pay attention to this stuff, yay! P.S. Which pairing is more popular to you guys, Seddie or Creddie? Is it different when you're watching the show vs when you're reading/writing fanfiction? Just curious!

» Kristen Nicole

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own or pretend to own iCarly, or any of Dan Schneider's characters. I just love writing about them!_

* * *

Carly made her way over to the sink and splashed a handful of cold water on her face. _Come on, Carly, wake up! Freddie's coming over!_

Instead of throwing her right back into her melancholy mood, though, the thought made her a bit giddy. Freddie was on his way, and all she could do was smile about it.

Her breath hitched as she heard the two coming up the stairs.

_Be cool, Carly. Be cool._

* * *

Freddie raced towards Carly's room. No way did he want to spend another second alone with Sam; it made him way too uncomfortable.

"We be here now. What goes on?" Sam smiled, tossing herself onto a beanbag chair.

"You missed bacon," Carly said.

"Bacon? When? Where? Why wasn't I invited? What the chizz?" Sam grunted, punching her seat, disappointed.

"Spencer made bacon before you came over, and brought it up after you left," Carly explained.

_That's funny,_ Sam thought, _how could I not realize that I was smelling bacon? Oh man, I need a break...and some bacon._

"Be right back again. I'm gonna annoy Spencer until he makes some more." With that, she ran back downstairs.

"Sam, I only ate half of it, there's still some left!" she called after her best friend, but she was already gone.

Carly supposed that that was okay. She'd been wanting more alone time with Freddie, anyway.

"So..." Freddie trailed off.

"So..." Carly repeated.

Freddie looked at Carly. Was now the time? Is this what he'd been waiting for, for all of these months?

Carly looked at Freddie. How had she missed her window of opportunity? This boy had liked her for years, and suddenly, all of that was gone.

"...How was the bacon? Tasty?" Freddie cringed at his having to resort to small talk.

"The tastiest," Carly giggled.

Freddie was clearly keeping her distance. Somewhat hurt, Carly turned slightly away, as if to show disinterest.

Freddie took note of this, and interpreted it as a sign of apathy to his presence. _Who am I kidding? She didn't like me then, and she doesn't like me now._

Struggling to find something to talk about, Freddie blurted the first thing that came to his mind.

"I think I have feelings for Sam."

Carly suddenly found herself biting her lip to keep from screaming, and blinking away a wave of tears.

"R-really," she managed.

Freddie mentally kicked himself. He'd said it, and it was too late to take it back.

"That is...I mean, okay. Carly, I think that _she_ has feelings for _me_, and it's throwing me off. I'm not sure that I like her or anything, I'm just considering...the possibility. I haven't truly decided..."

"Right, right," she responded, calming herself down. It wasn't as serious as it had sounded at first. Things would be okay. Besides, she knew for a fact that Sam had zero interest in Freddie as a friend, let alone a romantic partner, but Carly would go with this just to humor Freddie.

"You know, forget I mentioned it. Not important." He tapped his fingers on his knee uncomfortably. "What about you, Carly? Any fun, new romantic drama in your life?"

Carly looked Freddie in the eye. "Yeah, but, I don't think you'd believe me if I told you," she stood up slowly and walked to the computer stand, where she began tracing random surfaces with her fingers.

Freddie followed suit. He stood just behind her, and his breath on her neck startled her.

She turned in his direction, but her eyes remained down.

"Try me," he urged, attempting to persuade her.

She finally looked up at him.

"It's just, this boy is really important to me, and I don't want my feelings to scare him away. I want to keep him in my life," she confided quietly.

He brushed her arm lightly. "You never know, he might feel the same way."

Carly's eyes fluttered a bit and her heart pounded wildly. He was so close to her...such a small movement could close the distance that had separated their lips for too many months.

Forgetting all about Sam, Carly's desire to feel Freddie's skin on her own took over. Timidly yet excitedly, she felt her eyelids slowly shut as she leaned into him.

At first, Freddie somewhat froze, just as he had the first time she'd done this. He didn't want to waste any time, though. He spun her around so that her back was against the wall.

Totally lost in his arms, she wrapped her own around his neck.

"Freddie," she purred, resting her head on his chest.

Freddie didn't respond. Kissing Carly was just about as nice as he'd remembered it, so he should have been ecstatic. But some part of him felt like he couldn't play along with Carly's indecisive games until he'd figured out the stuff with Sam.

All too soon, Freddie stepped back.

"Carly," he began, swallowing hard, "look, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think that we should be doing this right now."

She looked purposefully away. _I knew it. I knew he didn't want me. Stupid, stupid Carly._

"I mean, lately iCarly's been more and more work, and I just think we should keep it professional, you know? Like what if we get together, and then break up again? Won't it just make things awkward? I really don't think that that's what's best for the show..." he prattled on with his pointless excuse.

Carly bought it, though. Or so he thought. To her, it meant that he simply didn't want _her_. To him, all it meant was that he wanted some time to figure things out. He knew that he definitely wanted Carly...he just had to figure out if he wanted Sam more.

"Of course," Carly offered an obviously forced smile. "You're right, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Wait, Carly..."

But he was interrupted by Sam bouncing back into the room.

"Back again, peoples, and I got bacon!" Sam squealed excitedly and resumed her spot on the beanbag chair.

"Hey," Carly greeted quite half-heartedly.

Freddie didn't bother.

"Okay, then..." Sam whistled, feeling a little freaked by the tension in the room. "Anyway, so which new bit do you guys wanna open with? We've got the exploding soda bottles, the chocolate syrup filled water balloons, the next installment of the idiot farm girl skit...guys!"

"What?" the other two responded.

"Work with me here! Some of us are trying to be productive..."

Carly shook herself out of her mental state, and joined Sam on the carpet. Now was not the time to worry about her boy problems.

"You're right. Let's do this."

Reluctantly, Freddie sat down next to them. He only watched as they discussed the show, wishing that he could be holding either one of them in his arms, unable to decide which.


	3. iMess Things Up

**iHave Conflicted Feelings**

**Author's Note:** I guess that I'm just feeling really creative today. Whatever works, right? This chapter gets slightly raunchy, but I'm hoping that I won't have to change the rating, because it only hints at certain themes :P

» Kristen Nicole

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own or pretend to own iCarly, or any of Dan Schneider's characters. I just love writing about them!_

* * *

"Aaand, that's how you explode a fire cracker in mid-air using a slingshot!" Carly chimed.

"Thank you, thank you!" Sam bowed multiple times for the camera.

"Well, that just about wraps up our show!" Carly smiled. "'Til next time...be healthy!"

Freddie zoomed in on Carly and Sam.

"Eat your milk," Sam whispered. "And drink your vegetables!" Carly finished.

"Later!" both girls waved.

"And, we're clear," Freddie declared.

"Is it just me, or was that like the longest show ever?" Sam remarked as she fanned herself with her hand.

"Actually, the longest show to date was the iCarly Web Awards, so no," Freddie responded.

"Shut it, Fredweird, no one asked you," she hissed, peeling a banana.

Carly was pretty quiet. She didn't have much to say; a few days had passed since she'd decided to kiss Freddie, when he had insisted that they keep things "professional"...whatever that meant. The suspense of not knowing what was to come was driving her insane, and she definitely couldn't handle being in the same small room with just those two.

"I vote Groovy Smoothie!" she called, rushing out the door and down the stairs.

Sam and Freddie simply sat there looking after her.

"What up with Carly? She's been like this all week," Sam examined.

"Who knows," he shrugged. "Didn't you tell me she was depressed from a bunch of boy problems?" he prompted innocently.

"No kidding, dipchizz. I'm saying there's something more that's bothering her, something big," she tossed her banana peel across the room and into the trash bin.

"Cool it, Puckett, I'm just asking questions," he glared.

"Yeah? Well, they're stupid ones," Sam raised her eyebrows in his general direction.

"Nope, sorry Sam. There's no such thing as a stupid question."

"...Really?" her tone suddenly became quiet and serious.

"Really, really..." he responded, all traces of anger having left his voice.

* * *

Carly was growing very impatient. _What is taking them so long?_ She wondered. She was about to go back up there, when Spencer walked into the room.

"Hey, kiddo. Long time no talk. Kinda miss you," he hugged her.

"Yeah, me too. Been busy..." she trailed off, not offering an explanation.

"Listen, Carls," Spencer began.

"Yeah?" she fell onto the couch.

"Sam and Freddie know that something's up, and so do I. You gotta tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours right now. It's not healthy to keep everything to yourself, you know?" he patted her head.

At first, Carly thought that she was going to keep from telling Spencer, but she soon realized that she needed a release, and it suddenly all just came out.

"Freddie told me he might like Sam. Or that Sam might like him. Or both. Then I kissed him. A year after he stopped liking me, I kissed him, and he pushed me away. He told me that he wanted to keep everything 'professional' for the show. He didn't want me anymore. Now that he's everything to me, I'm not enough for him," she began crying.

Spencer pulled her close to him. "Aw Carls, I'm sorry. I think you're wrong, though. Freddie's been in love with you from the beginning. Why would he choose Sam over you? She treats him like dirt..."

"I know! I know she does. But that's the thing. Maybe he prefers the bad-girl type, you know? Like, maybe I'm too frilly and lacy for him...and now he wants leather and studs. That's not me; that's Sam. It's not fair, I'm too good and nice!"

"There, there, that's a good little Carly. I'm sure it'll all work out. After all, he and Sam might have small crushes, but it'll never last. They'll never take each other seriously. If I were Freddie, I'd pick you in a heartbeat," he rubbed her back lightly in a comforting guesture.

"Thanks, Spence," she said between sobs.

* * *

"No stupid questions..." Sam repeated, more to herself than anything. "Okay," she took a deep breath. "How did you feel that night we kissed on the fire escape?"

That caught him way off guard. "Kiss? I, uh...it was...like I said before, nice."

"That's it? Just..._nice_?" she questioned.

"Yes, Sam. Nice," he rolled his eyes.

At this, Sam stood up and walked slowly towards him. Carly might not be okay with making the first move, but Sam certainly had no objections. "Nice enough to want a redo?"

Freddie's eyes widened as Sam got closer and closer. She wasn't just walking; somehow she had a certain stride to her...a very sensual one. Freddie was not accustomed to that kind of attention.

Her proximity made him a little nervous, so he slowly backed up until he was sitting on Carly's mattress.

That didn't stop her, though. Instead, she used this to his advantage. Determined to get another kiss, she pushed him back a bit, then climbed into his lap where her eyes met his.

She then took off her grungy jacket, revealing a satin camisole.

Freddie didn't know what to think. "No, Sam. I really don't want..."

"Don't say anything," she instructed, silencing his lips with her own.

Freddie's first thought was inevitably to compare the girls' kissing styles. Carly was timid and soft, while Sam was rough and confident. He didn't have much time to contemplate, though, because she began roaming his newly toned body with her fingers. Her touch awakened crazy sensations that Freddie had never felt before, and he didn't know how to react.

He pulled away for a moment. "This is so different from the first time," he observed breathlessly.

Sam only smirked in response. "I know."

"We need to stop. I don't want to do this with you. Get up," he demanded, though not terribly forcefully.

"I know, I know, you love Carls, I get it. But she's not the one kissing you, is she?"

Freddie looked to the floor and shook his head.

She interlocked her fingers within his, and pushed his body back onto the bed so that she was laying on top of him.

Freddie could feel her every curve, and as time went on, his kisses became hungrier and hungrier, and Sam definitely kept up with him.

His vision blurred, and though this new world of sensuality felt incredible, he wasn't entirely convinced that he wouldn't rather be experiencing this with Carly.

* * *

"I think I'm gonna go find them. It's been fifteen minutes; it doesn't take that long to get down here. They've had enough time for two fights." Carly finally got up, wiping the remnants of her tears from her eyes.

Spencer nodded, and retreated to the kitchen for a can of Peppy Cola.

* * *

When Carly reached her room, the sight almost caused her to lose her lunch. She gripped onto the door frame for support, or else she would have fallen. After some major hyperventilating, she finally crossed the bridge from panicked and distraught to angry.

"Really, Freddie, I _don't_ think that that's how you keep things professional. Or do those rules not apply when you're with another girl in my bed?" she yelled.

"C-Carly," Freddie coughed.

"Up. Out. Now!" she pointed to her door.

"But Carls," Sam stopped in front of her, shrugging he jacket over her shoulders.

"Go!" Carly didn't waver.

Silently, the two retreated downstairs.

Carly threw herself onto her bed and resumed sobbing, not falling asleep for more hours than she could count.


	4. iGet One Night With You

**iHave Conflicted Feelings**

**Author's Note:** Rating definitely had to go up, for hinting at themes. And I know that this chapter seems pretty climatic (no pun intended, I swear), but I have tons of new ideas to keep going. There will be plenty of drama to follow, and true to her word, Carly will be absolutely furious with Freddie. She just has a moment of weakness. Can we really blame her, though? And for the record, since it probably wasn't too obvious, Sam basically forced herself onto Freddie. I realize that he didn't object too strongly, but what's a teenage boy to do, especially when his emotions are involved?

» Kristen Nicole

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own or pretend to own iCarly, or any of Dan Schneider's characters. I just love writing about them!_

* * *

When Carly awoke the next morning, she had almost entirely forgotten the night before...that is, until she saw Sam.

"What are you doing?" Carly asked.

Sam set a food tray over Carly's lap.

"Making you a nice, tasty breakfast. What else?" she grinned.

"Breakfast? Wow, looks good...how long did it take you to make this?" she questioned, staring at the food. In all honesty, it did look and smell quite appealing.

"Oh, about forty-five minutes of my expert multitasking," she replied.

No longer able to keep up her nice front, Carly lost her temper. "Well then, I guess that's a wasted forty-five minutes of your life that you'll never get back, huh?" Abruptly, Carly flipped the tray off of her bed and onto the floor.

"Hey, what up?" Sam demanded, clearly offended. "I put a lot of time and love into making that delicious food...I didn't even take a bite out of any of it before I gave it to you!"

"Oh really? As much time and love as you put into biting Freddie in my bed last night?" Carly raised her voice even more.

"This is about Fredward? Get over it, Carly. I promise that he's only interested in me. It's been that way for months now. He only wants me, he told me so. Didn't you see us? Time to face the facts here, kid. He was yours for years, and you didn't want him. You kept pushing him away. He wasn't good enough. What changed, huh? Why is it so different now? I'll tell you why. You can't stand the thought of seeing me happy, especially with someone who used to worship _you_," Sam accused.

"Ex_cuse_ me? Samantha Puckett, I have been in love with that boy since the girls' choice dance last year! It is _not_ your place to tell me who I do and don't like! And don't tell me to get over my problems when _you're_ the one who's causing them!" Carly slammed her fists into the mattress.

"Carls, Carls, I think you need to calm down. Look, let's just talk about this when we've both had a chance to calm down..." she put an arm around Carly.

"No!" she shouted, shoving Sam off of her. "I don't _want_ to calm down! I want you to get out of my room, and to stay out of my house! For good!"

"Dude, cool it. We can work through this, it's not a big deal," Sam insisted.

"Dang it, Sam, _I love him_!" Carly shouted.

"No, no, no. Remember the bacon rule? You don't-"

Carly cut her off. "Shut it, Samantha. He's not just bacon. I know what my feelings are, and they're love. Love, Sam. Now get out of here before I call my father to have you escorted out of here!"

"Carls!"

"AT GUN POINT!"

"Okay, okay. No need to make empty threats. I'm going," Sam hung her head as she walked out of the door.

"Carls, one more thing. The show-"

"You're fired. Don't ever darken my doorway again!"

"Fired?"

"NEVER AGAIN! GET OUT BEFORE I SLAP THE CHIZZ OUT OF YOU!"

* * *

Freddie was waiting on the stairs. He had done his best not to listen, but it had been nearly impossible to miss the last couple things that Carly had screamed. "Whoa, Sam..."

"Good luck in there. I hope you guys work everything out...have a nice life," Sam hugged him.

"But, Samantha, what about you?" Freddie asked, pulling away to look at her.

"I'm leaving. For good," she kissed him on the cheek. "Later, Benson."

With that, she walked away, and he didn't follow.

He considered knocking on the door, but thought better of it.

Instead, he just sat there on the floor in front of it.

He looked in, and saw Carly sobbing into her sheets.

Rather than leave her be, he finally made up his mind to walk in.

Silently, he sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms.

"This is it," she hiccupped. "Things can never be the same, Freddie. Never. You're not the same person to me anymore."

"I understand," he hugged her closer.

"We can't be together now. We have to start all over again."

"I know, Carls," he said, moving to leave her in peace.

"No, wait," she looked up at him, tears adorning her cheeks. Somehow, they lit up her face, and she looked incredibly beautiful to him. "Stay with me...just for today..." she pleaded, pulling him back to her by his hand.

"Of course," he agreed, laying next to her on the bed.

Carly truly, truly resented him for touching Sam the way she'd wanted him to be close to her all along. But, at this very moment, she just needed to feel him. Otherwise, she was going to go insane.

"Freddie...tomorrow, I won't know you. I won't want anything to do with you for who knows how long. But, today...and tonight, I need you. I need you to pretend like you want me, even though I'm not her." She kissed him on the cheek lightly.

The sadness in her voice was getting to him, and he knew that what he was about to say was true. "Carly Shay, it's always been you."

Carly offered him half of a smile before pulling him onto her and losing herself to a world where they were the only two people existed, and nothing else mattered.

The two of them went about their entire day like this. Carly was determined to ignore what had passed between her two former best friends, partially to test her emotional limits, and partially because she wasn't exactly willing to let Freddie go.

By lunchtime, Freddie had gotten a few laughs out of her, and was feeding her strawberries.

Dinner was much the same; they had what was probably a little too much fun with Ramen Noodles.

All too soon, night time came around.

Carly knew that this was the last of the time her conscious would allow her to spend with Freddie, and she was going to make the most of it.

"It's getting late, Carls, time for me to go home."

"Wait, I'll be right back," she held up a finger. She hurried into her closet and put on the clothes she had set aside earlier.

When she emerged, she was wearing her plain white robe.

"Let's not say goodbye tonight. Can't you stay 'til morning?"

Freddie considered this. "I suppose I could text my mother..."

"Yes, do that. But first," she directed him to her bed, where they sat down, "do this." She took his hands in hers, wrapped his fingers around the ties to her robe, and helped him undo it.

When the soft, thick fabric fell off of her shoulders, all that remained was a lacy black and bloodred chemise.

Though Freddie was silent, Carly spoke. "Don't expect anything special; I'm not her," she said, as if reminding herself that she wasn't good enough.

Freddie gazed into her eyes and cupped her cheek. "Everything you do is special. It always will be."

The sadness returned in her eyes for a brief second. "Don't say things like that; it'll only make me miss you more."

Instead of letting him reply, she kissed him as passionately as she knew how. She sensed his nervousness; to put him at ease, she again took his hands, and placed them on her skin at the hem of the flimsy cloth.

Yes, tomorrow, things would be different. She would hate him, and do her best not to talk to him. But for tonight, he was hers.

* * *

An hour or so later, they lay there wrapped in each others arms, their warm bodies covered by nothing but Carly's egyptian cotton sheets.

"What are you going to do about the show?" Freddie asked, gently kissing the nape of her neck. "We have other friends, right? I'll just bring Gibby and Spencer on each week until we can find a more permanent solution." She tried to sound calm, but really she was panicking. It was a serious problem.

"Am I ever gonna be allowed to help you again?" the loneliness which clung to his voice was obvious to Carly, and it caused her to go a little soft.

"Freddie, I'll bring you back eventually. It won't be iCarly without you. I won't be myself without you. Just...you have to give me time. Give me time to be mad, and to be hurt. Time to forgive you, okay? Just time."

On that note, she turned for one more glorious kiss to remember him by, then they finally fell asleep together.


	5. iStart My New Cast

**iHave Conflicted Feelings**

**Author's Note:** Okay, time for the hating to commence. Poor characters. I almost didn't want to write this chapter :(

» Kristen Nicole

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own or pretend to own iCarly, or any of Dan Schneider's characters. I just love writing about them!_

* * *

When Carly's alarm went off the next morning, she woke up alone. His absence gave her an empty feeling.

Why had she thought last night would be a good idea? She'd had a wonderful time, but now she had even more reason to miss that wonderful boy.

Sitting up reluctantly, she rubbed her eyes. As she stood up to make her bed, she noticed a little piece of paper sitting on the other pillow.

_Carly,_

_I know that you're hurt. I just want you to understand that I wasn't bending any rules for Sam. It wasn't exactly what it looked like. I mean, yes, we kissed, but it doesn't mean that I wanted it. There could never be anyone for me but you._

_I'll wait._

_All my love,_

_Freddie_

Carly sighed heavily, running her fingers through her dark locks.

He really did love her, for better or for worse.

Unfortunately, right now, it was for worse. The hating and resentment had to begin.

* * *

At school the next day, Carly didn't do much talking. As her teachers lectured classes, she panicked. The show was going to play again in two days, and she didn't know what she was going to do. She _had_ to fill those spots.

After school, she went to her locker to grab the books she'd need for homework and to leave the ones that she wouldn't.

Suddenly, she was spoken to by the last person who she would expect; Missy.

"So...word has it that a certain two best friends aren't so friendly anymore. Is it true?" she asked pointedly.

"It's true," Carly responded, not really wanting to talk to her.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to. Since now you don't even have Freddie."

As much as that last comment stung, Carly was taken aback by the niceness, and unsure what to think.

She turned to Missy.

"Thanks, Missy. That's awfully...sweet of you."

"Of course." There was a pause. "I was wondering...what are you going to do about iCarly?"

Good question. "You know, I really have no idea. I don't want to cancel the show, but-"

Missy interrupted. "Don't cancel it! It's too big of a deal! ...Why don't you let me help out with a couple of shows?"

There it was, the ulterior motive. Carly had to laugh to herself.

"Normally I'd probably say no, but right now, I need all of the help that I can get," she admitted reluctantly.

"I thought so," Missy smiled triumphantly. "When should I come over to rehearse?"

Carly thought for a moment. "Let's just start tonight. Meet me at my house in half an hour?"

"Absolutely," she smiled. "See you soon, best friend." The smile became a bit of a smirk, but it was cute, so Carly couldn't be mad about it.

"Later."

When Missy had gone, Carly suddenly found Sam by her side.

"Carls, I know that you had to replace me, but did it _have_ to be with her? Don't you remember how she treated us before Freddie gave her the cruise tickets? Like worthless chizz," Sam objected.

"You know what, Sam? You're right. But you know what else? I also remember how you treated me, and it was much, much worse. If you'll excuse me, I have a new and improved iCarly to work on, one that doesn't include you." Carly was impressed with herself for being so angry; it felt very empowering.

"Oh bull. You can't put on a show without me; I _make_ the show. ...Or, at least, half of it. Missy will never be me," Sam countered.

"You're right," Carly said, her voice returning to its normal volume. "She'll be better."

Sam only looked on silently as her former best friend walked off alone.

As she started to leave too, she noticed Freddie in the corner of her eye.

"Fredward! What goes on?" she asked cheerily.

"Nothing," he replied, skeptical as to why Sam would be talking to him. "Uh, Sam, why do you bother talking to Carly? She hates you now. You really hurt her, you know."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Don't forget, you were there too. It wasn't just me."

"You knew that I didn't want it," he turned to her. "You knew that I'd wanted Carly for years, and I almost had her. I was this close. And you totally destroyed that."

Sam whistled. "Somebody's a little cranky today."

"Cranky? Me? I don't think so. Bitter, yes. Cranky, no. Bitter because you alienated me and the girl I love, who just happened to have been my best friend. Why'd you do it, Sam? You don't mess with me enough already? You just _had_ to take it a step further?" he demanded.

"Look, Freddie, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I mean, I do, but..." she trailed off.

"Spit it out, Puckett," he said expectantly.

"Just, lately, I've been feeling a little...confused. I've been thinking about you a lot, in a...romantic way. As in, I sorta wanted to be more than friends." She looked to the ground.

Freddie was silent for a moment. "You're serious? You weren't just trying to mess up things between me and Carly?"

"Dead serious. I just figured I'd given you enough time. I mean, it's been a year since the taco truck, and you guys weren't getting back together anytime soon, so I thought it was a great time to make the first move. I figured that if I got myself all dolled up, you'd be less likely to reject me," she explained quietly.

"I...I don't know what to say," he managed. "Sam, I don't-"

"Just drop it, 'kay? I realize that it was a bad decision. But I figure that if I stick around long enough, Carly will have to forgive me eventually, right? She'll miss me too much. So maybe, at some point in the future, we can go back to just the three of us, like it has been for years."

He didn't say anything.

"And look, I know you don't feel the same way, but I could really use a friend, so..." she looked at him hopefully.

"Sam, I'm not so sure that I can be that person for you right now," he told her.

"Just think about it, okay? My life's pretty dull when I'm all alone," she admitted.

"Fine, I'll think about it. But I'm still very mad at you, just so we're clear," he turned to walk away.

"Fine," she said simply.


	6. iDon't Give Up the Show

**iHave Conflicted Feelings**

**Author's Note:** I'm not sure where I want them to take the webshow from here. Guess I'll just keep writing as it all comes to me and see where that takes things. P.S. Don't you just wish Carly would give in? :)

» Kristen Nicole

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own or pretend to own iCarly, or any of Dan Schneider's characters. I just love writing about them!_

* * *

It was finally Friday, which meant that it was time for the show. Carly and Missy had worked very hard to get everything ready. Their chemistry was a bit different than Carly and Sam's, but Carly could deal. After all, the show must go on.

* * *

There was an unexpected knock at Freddie's door. "I'm coming," he called.

When he opened it, he saw none other than Sam. She was holding a box of popcorn and two drinks from Groovy Smoothie.

"Watch iCarly with me?" she asked, sounding very unsure.

"Why here?" he wanted to know.

"Psh, you think my mom pays for internet, or has a computer? I had to go somewhere, and it seemed fitting to watch it with you."

Annoyed as Freddie was, he caved. "Sure, come on. We can watch it in my room.

"Thanks, Freddalupe," Sam she smiled, handing him his cup.

* * *

"Hey everybody!" Carly beamed at the camera.

Missy pointed at Carly. "This be Carly!"

Carly pointed at Missy. "This be Missy!"

Missy added, "And together, we be..."

Both girls chimed in, "iCarly!"

Missy hit the recorded cheering audience button on the blue remote.

"Now, I'm sure you're all wondering where Sam could possibly be," Carly started. "She's not sick this time, nor is she in juvie."

Missy spoke. "You're probably also wondering, what's Missy doing back on the show?"

"All of this and more will be answered by the end of the show, so don't you dare click that cute little red ex button at the top of your computer screens!" Carly pointed in that direction.

"Besides, who doesn't love a little drama?" Missy smirked. "I know I do!"

"Speaking of drama," Carly said, "it's time that we showed you the first in a new series of skits called 'Girl With a Webshow!' Starring me..."

"And me," Missy added.

"And me!" Gibby jumped out in front of the camera.

"We'll need a moment to prepare," Missy announced.

"So please enjoy this prerecorded footage of my brother Spencer trying to do a hand stand on the coffee table!"

The video appeared on the screen.

Once it was over, animated curtains opened, revealing Carly dressed as herself, Missy dressed as Sam (complete with a wig!), and Gibby dressed as Freddie.

"Aaand...action!" Gibby called.

Carly got close to the camera, whispering, "Based on a true story!"

"Oh Sam, what should I do? I'm in love with Freddie, and I don't think that he cares about me that way anymore," Carly pretended to be sad.

"Don't worry, Carls, that boy worships you. I'm sure he'll come around!" Missy walked off-camera, and Gibby came forward.

"Hey Carly, I think I have feelings for Sam," Gibby said, assuming a serious voice.

"What? Sam? Not me?" She suddenly looked at him, continuing her sad expression.

"Wait, just kidding. So who do _you_ like?" He looked at her suggestively.

"Oh, you know...you," she admitted sheepishly.

"Me? So, you like me, and I like you, and even though we're ignoring the fact that I just told you I like Sam, we should kiss," Gibby declared.

The plan had originally been for Carly and Gibby to fake the kiss-at least, that's how they'd rehearsed it-but Carly just went for it. It was only a skit, after all, and besides, it was a chance to make Freddie a little jealous.

"Wait," Gibby suddenly protested. "This isn't professional. Gotta keep it professional around here; no kissing!"

"Okay. I'm gonna take that as you not wanting to do it just because it's me, but I won't tell you that! So I'll just say, 'Whatever you want' and leave it at that!"

This time, Carly went off-stage, and Missy returned.

"Hey, Freddie," she said, pushing Gibby to the ground.

"Whoa, Sam, what up with this?" Gibby asked in a fake voice.

"I just thought we should, you know, kiss," she smirked, and reenacted a much raunchier version of the kiss Gibby and Carly had shared.

Carly stepped in front of the camera. "Wait, they're kissing? He's not even going to mention that this is unprofessional?"

Gibby and Missy paused for long enough to look up at the camera and say together wihile smiling, "No!"

"...And this is where I walk in! Except, I don't catch them on the floor, I catch them on my bed." Carly said bitterly. "Thank you Missy, thank you Gibby. Excellent work."

The two bowed. "No problem," Missy responded.

"Anytime," Gibby added.

"Aaand that's it for the drama portion," Missy said with a mockingly sad face.

"Don't worry though, there's certainly more to come! So don't miss next week's installment, called 'Girl Who Steals From Friends!'" Carly faked excitement.

"And now," Gibby said, "a special announcement."

"As you can see," Carly said, "Sam is gone for good."

"Freddie too," Missy said, but Carly's expression showed apprehension.

"So, we need some helpers on the show! I know that it used to be run just by the three of us..." Carly said.

"...But we don't want to do it alone. The more, the merrier!" Missy finished in a sing-songy voice.

"So, here's what this means for you guys," Carly said.

"That means all you amazing peoples in the audience," Gibby added.

"You're gonna audition for us!" Missy grinned.

"Yep. So do your best imitation of an iCarly webcast, send it in, and we'll take a vote," Carly explained.

"We got three spots to fill," Gibby declared.

"So get off your lazy behinds and get to work, 'cause you only got 'til Tuesday!" Missy pointed to her watch.

"That's right, Tuesday," Carly continued. "And, for a more classic feel, we're going to close the show with..."

"Wait, don't tell me," Gibby said, and the three of them stood together.

Missy pushed the button, and they all shouted "Random dancing!"

* * *

Freddie and Sam were on his bed. The instant the show ended, he closed his laptop.

"That's so not right," Sam finally commented.

"Yeah, well, it seems we deserve it," Freddie said, still supporting Carly.

"Whatever. She has no right to replace us," she retorted stubbornly.

"Says you," he replied.

* * *

"I'll be right back," Carly announced, walking downstairs.

Truth be told, she knew that the show wouldn't be the same without Freddie. She didn't want to try doing it without Freddie; it felt wrong.

The day with Freddie had been wonderful, and she'd seemed okay with being around him then. Maybe she could already move past this. She might not exactly be able to handle a relationship at the moment, but she could definitely try to forgive him for now.

She knocked on his door.

A few seconds later, Freddie opened it.

"Hey," he greeted tenatively.

"Hey," she looked down. "Freddie, listen, I was thinking...I'm not exactly okay with the idea of doing the show without you, and-"

Carly stopped when she saw Sam shove past the two of them. "Hey Carls, how's it hangin'?" She smirked, not even bothering to wait for a response before leaving the building.

Carly sighed, looking up at Freddie.

"Carly, it's nothing bad, I promise. She just wanted to watch the show..." he reasoned.

"Save it, Freddie. Guess I'm really not ready for this yet," she turned away.

"Wait," he protested, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, "I'm really not ready to be away from you."

She looked at him again. "I'm sorry, Freddie. This is how it has to be. We both have stuff to do; you've got to let her go, and I've got to get the images of you two together out of my head. Until then..." she trailed off, saying nothing more.

Freddie wanted to say more, but he refused to argue with her. She was clearly already stressed enough. Instead, he simply said "Okay. 'Night, Carls."

"'Night, Freddie," she responded. Instead of just walking away like she probably should have, she gave into her attraction for him and ended the conversation with a kiss that rivaled the one from their night together.


End file.
